It is said that everyone has a doppelgänger, a visual twin of sorts. I had lunch with mine today. Well, not actually “with” him, but a few tables away. When I walked in, we exchanged a glance and went to our respective corners. While he sat buried in his phone, I couldn’t help but marvel at the similarities: same build, same glasses, facial hair and same hairline. The only difference I could find was the lack of gray hair that I have developed over the years. Perhaps this was the image of a younger me.
The similarities continued as the server delivered his food. I was fairly certain she addressed him as “John” and his order was oddly similar to mine. This little glimpse of myself had to be more than a passing coincidence. I left my phone on the table and pondered the ways I have changed, if any, since the “Santa Hair” began to appear on my chiny-chin-chin. Not much it seems; the stress, the struggles, and the things that bring me joy and peace.
More than an internal checkup, it gave me cause to consider the image I project. Perhaps no one offered this young man a second glance, but I felt if he was that much like my ten-year-younger self, he could use some heavenly intervention, so I prayed for him; for grace and wisdom, for forgiveness and strength, for joy and peace; things I prayed for then and continue to do today.
I try not to lend much credence to what others think of me, but in my own eyes, I long to be a reflection of Jesus. Too often though, my mirror is dimmed by layers of fears and failures, smudged by dirty hands.
After Jesus had been arrested, Peter stood in the courtyard mixed in with the crowd.
“After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.” Matthew 26:73 NIV
Peter denied the claim for self-preservation, yet when the rooster crowed, he remembered Jesus had said he would deny Him. Peter realized the value (or lack thereof) of the “self” he was preserving and he “wept bitterly”.
There have been times when I denied my calling out of self-preservation, fear or laziness, safely entrenched in my comfort zone. Perhaps the image of my younger self was the rooster crowing, reminding me that I should do better than the “me” I was. Peter was reconciled with Jesus and became the “rock” that Jesus called him to be.
There may be more “rock” in me than just a hard head after all. I need to dig deeper and unearth the “rock” Jesus calls me to be.
Digging to find the “rock” in me
And Blessed in Great Measure